About 2 weeks ago, I was diagnosed with a brain tumor.
Yes, that was a complete shock, and it took me a bit to process the news! The initial words were very scary – God has given us a natural fear of pain and death, that is His way of helping to protect us. But thankfully, the dr’s believe this tumor is benign, although they won’t know for sure until after surgery.
In the following days, someone was talking to me and mentioned setting my affairs in order. But here’s the thing; I don’t need to set my affairs in order. Practically speaking yes, I would need to write down how I do things, when bills are due, etc, so the household could run smoothly without me. (except that I am not dying, by the grace of God! I should live many years yet! 😉 ) But, I had the distinct feeling that this person was encouraging me to set things right between me and others, maybe between me and God?
Let me tell you, if you are living your life with unresolved issues, you should not wait till you get a brain tumor diagnosis to set your affairs in order! For the past 20 years, I have lived with a clear conscience. I have sinned against God and my fellowman many times, sadly, but I have always repented and asked forgiveness when I realized what I was doing. (Sometimes people won’t forgive me, but that is not my problem. I can only do my part and hope they can one day forgive.)
But I have never allowed bitterness, jealousy, anger, or any such thing stay in my heart. As soon as I recognize some little bad attitude or sin in myself, I repent. I confess it to God, and if I have hurt others – to them as well. (if I have hurt you and haven’t apologized, it’s because I don’t realize I have hurt you. Come tell me.) Since I was 16 years old, my aim has been to keep a clear conscience, and a clean slate. I want nothing to stand between my God and me.
I have strayed into discouragement, at times. Sometimes I have struggled with doubt. Many, many times I have sinned with my mouth. And the closer I get to Jesus and the light of His Word – the more impurities I see in myself. But I walk in the light I have been given. Each day I wake up with no guilt, no shame, set free indeed by the redeeming power of Christ!
Why wait till you are facing death? That is a terrible life – living with guilt and hidden bitterness. And you probably won’t have a preparation time to set your affairs in order. You may be gone in the blink of an eye – car wreck, heart attack, gunshot… who knows? NOW is the time to set your affairs in order. Get right with God, repent of your sins, confess your faults to those you have wronged, ask forgiveness.
Most importantly, don’t allow things in your life that you don’t want there when you are facing God Almighty. Keep a clear conscience, repent of sin as soon as your realize you have sinned. Apologize to those you’ve hurt.Set your affairs in order today - you don't know what tomorrow brings. Click To Tweet
I am not dying, but if the diagnosis were different – if they told me I have 2 months to live – I would not feel differently. Yes, I would want to spend more time with family, maybe do some things we put off for too long, like go to Hawaii or Yellowstone. But setting my affair in order? Nope. My affairs have been in order for many years.
Note on my tumor diagnosis:
Maybe you stumbled on this post because you too, have been diagnosed with a brain tumor. If so, consider yourself hugged! It is not a fun diagnosis.
I have a Cerebellopontine angle (CPA) tumor, a meningioma. These are generally benign. Less than 10% are cancerous. You can read more on brain tumors here: Meningioma brain tumors.
May God give you much grace and peace,
Kay (A Ranch Mom)