Have you ever had these really big dreams and goals that you are all excited about? You know, the kind that keep you awake at night – planning, figuring, imagining… Yes, me too! Then you get up and begin your day and there is 1,000 tasks to do that are in no way related to your dreams? Yep. All the time!
When dreams and reality collide mid-air, bright fragments float down around your heart, surrounding you in what-if’s and why-can’t-I? But you know what? Reality comes first. It is essential for your soul to have a bright vision – a dream to work towards. But when God cuts into your dance with His own steps – then you give way before His plans. His plans are usually different than mine. Much different.
Bigger. So much bigger!
I want to write on a regular basis. I have wanted this since I was a tiny tot. I want to craft beautiful stories that enthrall children and make grown-ups laugh and weep. I want to make people ask themselves what they are here for, and what is the bigger picture?
Could I make it a priority and treat it like a business and get’r done?
Absolutely. I am a strong determined woman. I can do anything.
But I believe with all my heart that my calling and purpose in this life right now is to be a mother. A mother who is present and connected and a worker at home. (Titus 2:5) What this means for me is to put dishes and laundry above my writing.
What good would it be if I became wildly popular but my children don’t enjoy being with me?
What if they reject the Christ I love because they never saw Him modeled through me – all they could see was my back as I typed?
What if they send their babysitter roses on Mother’s Day when they are grown, because they had a closer relationship with them than with me?
This might sound like a stretch, but it really isn’t. I know personally people who, as adults, called their ‘replacement mother’ “mom”, instead of their own mother. What a crushing hurt that would be! To wake up one day and realize my children have no connection to me?
I tell you, my paltry dreams pale beside the weight of my children’s souls.
My ‘dreams’ can wait. my children cannot.
Do I still write? Of course! I always have in some manner, and I always will. (In fact, I have two books in the works right now… with about a dozen more ideas! )
But if it’s only mere scratchings on a cheap notebook, a few lines before I fall asleep – that’s ok. In these busy seasons of life, God is teaching me LIFE. When I have time – I write. When I don’t – I don’t. It’s that simple.