I am a Dreamer.

Beneath all the common sense, beneath the practicality and beneath the dependability – I am a dreamer. I have ordinary, common dreams…

get out of debt,
be more organized
exercise more

I have personal dreams…

finish that book
rewrite that other book
remember my friends’ special days better
save money for a vacation with my husband

Then there are those big dreams. The ones I dare not breathe out, for fear someone will freeze them with the cold breath of reality. Those dreams I rarely speak of, the ones I guard inside my heart. They are nestled in close beside my past heartbreak and my fears of the future. Those feelings one doesn’t speak of, you know. Or at least Christians don’t speak of them. Because we are better than that. Aren’t we?! We have a Hope and a Future. We  have a God who wipes away all tears. We know that perfect love casts out fear – therefore, If I fear – I must not be doing it right.

What if feelings aren’t all that important? What if our action were the Most Important Thing, and we learned that our feelings would come trotting along behind once we obeyed Jesus’ commands?

What if perfect love comes along with the rest of our perfection – on that day when we shall be like Him, for we shall see Him as He is?  What if He is going to wipe away all tears once we see Him – but not down here? (Isaiah 25:8, 1 John 3:2)

What if we exhaled and softy breathed out our dreams to each other? What if we confessed our fears, and whispered our needs, and then found out that we all cared and loved about each other, more than we thought? 

Yes, I am a dreamer. I dream big dreams…
…Of my children being passionate followers of Jesus Christ.
…Of my marriage becoming even better.
…Of encouraging other mamas in this hard place called motherhood.
…Of showing people that Jesus really does have all the answers, and that the Life He sets before us is worth every drop of sweat and every tear you shed, but it won’t be easy. 
…That true Christians are called to stand up for their faith in this twisted and sick world that is full of half-truths and lazy Christians and white-washed tombs.
…That you really are For or Against every hot-button issue in this world, because if you’re not – God will spit you out, because everyone hates a lukewarm cup of coffee. 

Oh my friends. I have dreams. Big dreams. Dreams that I have no way of seeing fulfillment of, or knowing how in the world God could even use me to be a tiny cog in the works.

But I am a dreamer. And I will not hold my dreams guarded anymore. Reality may have knocked me down, but I’m getting back up. I am a child of the God of the Universe, and I will not be silent.