Real life moms are unique

Behind the facade of perfection are scenes that no one else sees. The dirty dishes piled in the sink, the toys strewn hither and yon, laundry mountains waiting to be washed or folded, and more. There is the side we present to all our friends and to our socials, and then there is the side we keep hidden. 

Maybe you are a great organizer, and hard worker, and your house is always in great shape, tidy and neat with never any mess. This post might not really not be for you. I appreciate the moms who appear to have it all together, but I am not one of them. It's not that I don't care - indeed, it used to cause me so much stress and worry that I could never fully rest and enjoy the moment. 

Real life moms are created unique

I have learned, over the years, that it is another area where God created us differently. Some of us are Type A, we use lists and get things done and can't stand a messy house. Others of us are very relaxed, creative, Type B moms who would prefer to sit down in a messy room to read a book to the toddler, or help our middle schooler create a craft project, or watch a movie with our high schooler. Or maybe we just prefer gardening to cleaning. 

I read a quote recently that went like this:

                        "The reason we struggle with insecurity is
           because we compare our behind-the-scenes
           with everyone else's highlight reel." 
                                                                                 ~Steve Furtick

I know it is so easy to compare ourselves to others online or in real life, because often what we see is their highlight reels. We don't post photos on FB of our piles of dirty dishes or our weedy gardens -- we post the freshly weeded gardens and the tidy kitchen. (This is fine; I prefer to NOT see your dirty dishes! Haha!)

But then I get down on myself and wonder what am I doing wrong that I can't seem to keep a perfect house? 

The problem is, I am asking the wrong question. I should be asking myself what I did today?

Well, the answer to that is easier...

• I got out of bed at 6 am to make breakfast for my husband.
• I cooked three meals a day, (my husband comes home for lunch, yay!!)
• I fed/watered my chickens,
• I watered my garden, and pulled a few weeds.
• Then I did a couple loads of laundry,
• I baked some bread
• I sat and read 5 or 10 books to my preschooler.
• I talked to my daughter about the book she's reading,
• I listened to my son explain his invented paper airplane.
• I sat with my husband and discussed life.
• I called a lonesome friend. 
•  

   Ok, this is not an actual diary of any particular day - just an example of an ordinary day for me. But my thought is - we do ourselves no favors by comparing ourselves to someone else. And maybe we bloggers do no one any favor by only showing our 'highlight reel'. That's fun and tempting to do - I do it on this blog all the time. But the behind-the-scenes is not as glamorous, not as artsy, and certainly not as photo-friendly, but a lot more real. 

...and the most important things in life are not things anyways, right? 🙂 The smiles of happy kids, the relationship with your husband, most importantly the relationship you cultivate with God your Father - these are the things that matter in Life.

How to create better habits

Our personality and habits can be re-trained to include the things that are important to us, like a tidy home that is restful, or time to cook from scratch, or time for a hobby we enjoy. I want to always be in a place of learning and growing as a woman, improving myself and my home in a realistic way. 

One thing that has helped me tremendously is watching and listening to The Minimal Mom. Her YouTube videos and podcasts have literally changed my life. (I am not earning any money from saying this - it just made such an impact on my life that I want to share.) 

The second things that helped me was simply some self-awareness about my ways of thinking. I realized that some of my thought patterns were holding me back from creating the home I wanted. For instance, I grew up so poor that I have an ingrained "scarcity mindset" for lack of a better term. My default is "what if we lose everything someday and need this item?" which is silly, because my husband and I are both very capable of earning a living wage. So, once I recognized this harmful thought pattern, I began decluttering with a vengeance. And now my home and my brain has never been so calm and clear. I can use my tiny kitchen and it's not piled with clutter.